Whatever It Takes

My quest in finding a partner online started 8 years ago. Men from different countries are all welcome in my messenger. Chatting with various cultures is quiet amusing and exciting. During that time I still don’t have the exact picture on who I wanted to find online. I chatted randomly no matter who this guy is. I didn’t care to check his personal circumstances as long he has a name that’s it. Until one time I was able to find a constant chat mate and I started to get interested in knowing him well. His promises like a bed of roses has lured me so much. My desire to meet him in person intensified because I believe in all his words. In short I fell in love with this guy. I feel as if its real hahahahaha. Only to find out that he has several virtual girlfriends not to mention those real gf. I got affected with that painful truth. Its funny, isn’t it? That was my first experience with this online dating. However, I’m the kind who doesn’t consider failures as a reason to quit. I have had several sad experiences until I became callouse and seasoned in this online dating. Now, I became unaffected and I have also learned how to spot real people in the virtual world. In effect I tend to be more suspicious and over acting which causes sometimes misunderstanding with a promising guy. Ohh my…..i’ve been here for 8 years already and still I have not established a real serious relationship. This alarmed me really. So, I started questioning myself. I tried assesing myself physically……. I’m not that bad looking at all. I am wondering why some girls who could not even express themselves well find their mate so easily. They end up with marriage. It’s so wonderful hearing success stories in this online dating. I’m not hypocrite to deny that I’m envious sometimes looking at those girls walking around with their found mate. There are times when I choose to act naively just to immitate the experiences of those successful real naive women who comes online. It didn’t help actually because of the fact that I’m not really naive. I cannot just allow myself to say simply YES when it is actually a NO for me. By the way, I have also met guys who have expressed their noble intensions but the problem is they didn’t possess the qualities I’m looking for. I’ve realized that I’m too much concern of finding an ideal partner because I don’t want to commit mistake. Though I’m aware that there is no such thing as perfect. Not unless I will be able to learn how to take it easy, finding online mate is impossible for me to happen.